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Hello there, Readers!

Below are two versions of what Revelation 12:11 calls “the word of my testimony.” The first is a bulleted list and the second is a 5-minute testimony (approximately), if read out loud. I ask PAPA to do whatever it takes to soften your heart (and my heart!) towards HIM, HIS Word, and HIS Will in every area of your life (and my life!) — no matter what it costs!

PAPA’S Blessings on you all!!!

In HIS Great Love!

Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
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BULLETED VERSION:

• I experienced homosexual feelings for over 30 years.
• I lived as a lesbian for over 15 years (7 of those years as a Christian).
• I survived over 13 years of sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect growing up.
• I was consumed with hatred and anger towards GOD and men, as well as self-loathing for over 30 years.
• I dissociated for over 30 years.
• I used pornography, masturbation, and sexual fantasies as coping mechanisms for many years.
• That all began to change when I fully surrendered my authority to GOD’S Authority on 1 SEP 1995.
• KING YESHUA has used HIMSELF, HIS Written Word, two therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, and HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person, to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.
• Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. HE Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, anger, rage, or self-loathing that I used to have.

 

PARAGRAPH VERSION:

I grew up in a family where I was sexually, physically, emotionally abused and neglected for over 13 years. I not only hated the 3 men and 1 woman who sexually used me, but I also hated myself – especially my body, because it betrayed me by responding to the sexual stimulations.

There were many unhealthy ways I attempted to deal with the trauma and pain from the sexual abuse, but they were the only coping mechanisms I knew. At a very young age, I was introduced to pornographic magazines, and later found an X-rated novel in the house – what I refer to as “written” pornography. I don’t remember when I first masturbated, but by the time I was 13 years old, I was hooked on masturbation – and devastated by the shame I felt afterwards.

Because of the abuse and neglect, it’s understandable that I wanted to be rescued out of my situation. The way I experienced wanting to be rescued was through emotionally intense romantic feelings for girls. When puberty hit, I also had strong sexual feelings for girls and women. By age 17, I “decided” that I was a lesbian. I simultaneously decided that The Bible was a bunch of lies and that GOD didn’t exist.

That, by the way, is the coping mechanism called DENIAL.

The mechanism I used from the earliest sexual abuse was dissociation. It was one of the reasons I survived hundreds of sexual violations. Dissociation is a big word for what The Bible describes as “brokenhearted” in Isaiah 61:1 and KING YESHUA quotes in Luke:

“The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed.”
– Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

A clearer visual of brokenhearted is a shattered heart, much like glass shattering to pieces when it hits the ground. Even though I didn’t know how deeply broken and wounded I was, PAPA knew, so HE allowed me to experience the natural consequences of living in rebellion to HIM, until I finally got sick-and-tired of being sick-and-tired.

The prayer I prayed was this: “GOD, I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be. I don’t know if that means I’ll be homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, or asexual, but I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be.”

HOLY SPIRIT took that prayer and RAN WITH IT!

On 1 SEP 2014, it will be 19 years since fully surrendering to PAPA’S Authority over every area of my life – emotionally, mentally, relationally, and sexually. Physical health and financial recovery began years later and though I’m still physically ill with Lyme, Babesia, and Bartonella, KING YESHUA is still on HIS Throne and I’m still HIS Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Daughter! That’s all that matters! OORAH! :-)

On 23 DEC 2014, it will be 29 years since I surrendered my heart and life to JESUS! I was born-again that MON morning around 1000 and I’ve NEVER received a greater or more priceless gift! HalleluYAH!!! :-)

KING YESHUA has used HIMSELF, HIS Written Word, HIS People (two therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person), and HIS Creation to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.

Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. HE Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body! HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, anger, rage, or self-loathing that I used to have. I now FEEL emotions like KING YESHUA Created me to feel and I know how to manage my emotions, too!

Since I now know what to do when I’m anxious, I no longer use pornography, masturbation, or sexual fantasies. I also know what healthy boundaries are and how to enforce them in loving, respectful ways. Before recovery, I only had WALLS and no boundaries. I was walled-off from PAPA, myself, and others. Not any more!

The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because HE Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to HIS Authority in every area of my life. HE still asks me the same thing HE asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

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Howdy, Dear Reader!

I hope you are seeking KING YESHUA wholeheartedly TODAY, because HE says that today is all you have and if you seek HIM with your whole heart, then you WILL find HIM!! Woohoo!!! What a PHENOMENAL Promise!!!

Now…onto this short blog……

Who Wrote The Bible? (And other questions.)

1. Who wrote The Bible: humans or GOD?
2. Is GOD truly good?
3. Why doesn’t GOD take my pain away?

My core beliefs to those questions will effect every area of my life. Notice I didn’t say my “immediate answers” to those questions, but rather my “core beliefs.” The same goes for you.

How can you know what your core beliefs are? How can you know if your core beliefs are in alignment with PAPA’S Word? That’s easy to answer — just ask KING YESHUA to show you what your core beliefs are about HIM and HIS Word — He’ll show you!
:-)

Here’s the next part: What you do with what HE shows you will determine how you’ll handle the pain in your life.

I’m praying you’ll choose HOLY SPIRIT’S Way, rather than rejecting The One Who Created YOU!

That’s all for today!

PAPA’S Blessings on you and all of yours, Dear Reader!!!
:-)

In HIS Great Love!
Warrior Princess Melanee!
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Originally posted on KING JESUS' Story In My Life! \o/ :-):

Dear Readers,

I’ve wondered for a LONG time how to Biblically describe what was going on years ago when I was promoting my old way of living (i.e., being a Christian, but living in relational and sexual sin AND saying that my behaviors/thoughts were **not** sin AND teaching others to do the same).

I believe PAPA has given me a visual. Here it is. I pray you are enCOURAGED to seek HIM in every area of your life — no matter the costs!

And — thank You, PAPA, for never giving up on me!!!
——-

Okay, so I was living in relational and sexual sin, which means, according to The Scriptures, I was living like a sinner, right?

Yet, in The Scriptures, the sinners (in general), flocked to KING JESUS, didn’t they? And then those sinners repented, right? And were thankful to PAPA and followed their Saviour, right?

Well, those…

View original 926 more words

Dear Readers,

I’ve wondered for a LONG time how to Biblically describe what was going on years ago when I was promoting my old way of living (i.e., being a Christian, but living in relational and sexual sin AND saying that my behaviors/thoughts were **not** sin AND teaching others to do the same).

I believe PAPA has given me a visual. Here it is. I pray you are enCOURAGED to seek HIM in every area of your life — no matter the costs!

And — thank You, PAPA, for never giving up on me!!!
——-

Okay, so I was living in relational and sexual sin, which means, according to The Scriptures, I was living like a sinner, right?

Yet, in The Scriptures, the sinners (in general), flocked to KING JESUS, didn’t they? And then those sinners repented, right? And were thankful to PAPA and followed their Saviour, right?

Well, those three sentences are a description (albeit, short), of what KING YESHUA preached when He first started His public ministry (see Mark 1:14-17):

1. The time is fulfilled. The Kingdom of GOD is at hand.
(Now is the time. Here I Am — I’m standing right here in front of you);

2. Repent.
(Turn away from your sin — turn away from your finite way of thinking and living);

3. Believe in The Gospel.
(I Am The Gospel — I Am The Good News — Believe Me. Believe Who I say I Am; Believe who I say you are; Believe who I say we are together);

4. Follow Me.
(Go where I go and do what I do and obey My Command to love as I Love. Do not stray away, but when you do, refer back to points 1-3);

5. I will make you become Fishers of Men.
(I will empower you to live in The Strength of My Great Love. I will empower you to love other people as I Love them: in The Fullness of My Strong Holiness, Tender Mercy, and Powerfully Intimate Grace).

Continuing with the visual…

Most of the Pharisees (who are described during KING YESHUA’S day), viewed themselves as being “well” — not needing a doctor, much less a Saviour. They thought this way, because their perception was they were doing just fine by adhering to their standards of holiness, rather than KING YESHUA’S Standards of Holiness.

That is totally contrary to the repentant sinners’ perceptions — they knew they were sick and in need of a doctor and especially a Saviour! They knew they desperately needed help, so they surrendered to The One Who could actually Help them!

KING YESHUA referred to this scenario in Matthew 9:12-13 (NKJV) when He said,

“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”

So, here’s what I finally saw on THU 23 JAN 2013:

From the spring of 1989 through the fall of 1995, I was living as an UNrepentant homosexual Christian. I called my lesbian way of living “good and blessed by GOD,” and I strongly advocated for others to do the same.

I was living like a Pharisee (i.e., I believed that I was **not** “sick,” even though KING JESUS said I was sinning). I literally told GOD that I wasn’t sinning, so I didn’t need to repent.

Let me say that again — I told GOD, “I don’t need to repent.”

Oh, my . . .

Hmmm…from a physical standpoint, that can be simply described as a terribly sick woman who continually refuses to acknowledge her illness — even when the medical specialist stands right in front of her and tells her the truth about her condition, she rejects him. To make matters worse, she convinces other people to follow her example of rejecting truth about sickness which leads to a downward spiral of unhealthy existence (rather than life and life more abundantly — John 10:10).

From a spiritual viewpoint, I was someone who repeatedly refused to bow down to The One Who Created me — AND — I encouraged others to rebel with me by rejecting parts of GOD’S Word. AND — I called it “good and blessed by GOD.” The Scriptures have numerous warnings about doing such things. This verse from Isaiah 5:20 (NKJV) is particularly strong, “Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!”

To knowingly reject GOD and His Word regarding KING YESHUA will ultimately lead to eternal death and separation from The Creator — that is an absolute.

Yet, if you are someone who claims to be a Christian and is living as I once was — and calling it good — please hear my heart. I’m asking you to do a different kind of Woe. I’m asking you to say, “Whoa!” as in, “stop-in-your-tracks” kind of whoa.

Also, please remember this Truth: KING JESUS Loves you! And He Loves you SO much that He doesn’t want you to stay that way — living in sin. And calling sin good. And teaching others to do the same.

Here’s The Truth: The most beautiful angel was thrown out of Heaven for doing something similar. And he took one-third of the angels with him. That’s not said as a scare tactic. That is said as a sobering reminder that PAPA Is Holy.

Is that you, today? Are you afraid to bow down to The One Who Created you? If that is you, please hear this: HE STILL LOVES YOU! Yes, He does!

The question is: Do you want to do something different? Or — are you at least willing to do something different?

If, yes, then open your Bible to Mark 1:14-17, and read aloud what KING YESHUA’S Word says.

Then follow what He says in those four verses (they’re also written above) and TELL A FRIEND (or two or three) who are walking the road of repentance, as well!

Then, continue living in The Light that the gift of Biblical repentance is and PAPA will give you not only a new heart and a new way of living, He will also give you a new job description: Fisher of Men!

PAPA’S Blessing on all of you Precious Readers!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
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Dear Readers Who Are Created In The Image Of GOD,

Here’s a follow-up to my previous post — I hope it enCOURAGES you to LOVE like KING YESHUA LOVES!

CHRIST demonstrates HIS Great Love (Strength-Mercy-Grace) to everyone — no matter who they are.
The difference is HOW He demonstrates His Strength-Mercy-Grace to the person.

For example — the Pharisees who PUBLICLY attacked JESUS with their words, were truly LOVED by The KING. Yes, they were!

Here’s how:

STRENGTH:
KING YESHUA confronted their hypocrisy, refused to answer their questions by asking questions that would expose their sin, and called them numerous names, including white-washed tombstones and sons of the devil. (Yes, that’s part of HIS Great Love! It’s the TRUTH part. And those are just a few examples of HIS Strength.)

MERCY:
KING JESUS did NOT strike them dead. Rather, He allowed them to continue living, because His desire was for their repentance and restoration.

GRACE:
The LORD of Lords and The KING of Kings literally GRACED the Pharisees with His Time, His Attention, and His Words. He clearly communicated His Desire for them to connect with HIM through (1) repentance of their sins, (2) following Him, and (3) their becoming fishers of men.

** For the record: those three actions were **not** limited to the original disciples. Those three components are what KING YESHUA stated in Mark 1:14-17, and He said that what He was preaching was “the gospel of GOD” (v. 14b, NASB). Remember — JESUS has **not** even come near The Cross, yet! The Gospel (The Good News) that He was preaching was HIMSELF — The NEW KING!!! YAHOO!!!
:-)
And — He was preaching (1) the REPENTANCE of sins, (2) to BELIEVE in Him (The Good News), (3) to FOLLOW Him immediately and forever, so that (4) He could transform them from self-focused, hell-bound people, into GOD-focused, heaven-bound FISHERS of men! What a privilege!!!
:-)
___________________

Now, to look at when The KING met the woman caught in adultery (John 8:3-11), HIS Great Love was also full of Strength, Mercy, and Grace. It just “looked” and “sounded” and “felt” different than The Love demonstrated to the Pharisees.

Here’s how:

STRENGTH:
“Go and sin no more.”
(Notice, though, that He actually said that LAST to her — **not** first! Timing is a BIG part of demonstrating HIS Great Love!)

MERCY:
“Neither do I condemn you.”
(This one is obvious, and it was said BEFORE the Strength! Again, timing is crucial.)

GRACE:
Not only did KING YESHUA literally PROTECT the woman from being stoned to death (which would be a combo of Mercy/Grace), He also gave her His FULL Attention, His Time, and His Words. He literally engaged her in a one-on-One conversation — talk about Grace!
:-)

In this example, it is “easier” to see how deeply He wanted her to connect with HIM, yet it’s still HIS Great Love as demonstrated to ALL of us — humble or proud!
___________________

So, Dear Readers, where are you in regards to The Good News of KING YESHUA?

Are there any areas of your life where you need to REPENT? Are there any ways in which you are **not** BELIEVING Him and His Word? Any areas that you’re **not** FOLLOWING/OBEYING Him? And are you truly surrendered and focused on being a FISHER of men just like The KING trained the first disciples to be?

I’m working on all of that — truly! Which is why I brushed and flossed my teeth earlier tonight and am now writing! (That wasn’t a “tangent” — those are parts of my obedience to PAPA! Yay!!!)

PRAYER:
PAPA, help! I ask You to do whatever it takes to soften my heart towards You, Your Word, and Your Will in every area of my life — no matter what it costs me!
Thank You, PAPA!!!!!!!

Thanks for reading, Precious Folks who are Created in The Image of GOD! Remember — there is HOPE in CHRIST — ALONE!!!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa
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Dear Readers,

Did you know that KING YESHUA communicated HIS Great Love differently to people dependent upon whether they were humble or proud?

He did!

Take, for example, the difference between Nicodemus and the rich, young ruler.

LOVE was clearly demonstrated in both instances (LOVE defined as 100% Strength and 100% Mercy–while saturated in Grace (undeserved favor)).

Both of the men were given the Grace of KING JESUS’ time, energy, and one-on-one communication. That was a GREAT Gift to be given! (Talk about undeserved favor!)

This is how HIS Great Love (in a nut-shell) was demonstrated to these two men:

Nicodemus received Strength (a rebuke at his lack of understanding of The Scriptures), as well as Mercy (a holding back of a greater rebuke–perhaps for seeking Him in secret at night?), while saturated in Grace (a careful explaining to Nicodemus of his desperate need to be born again).

The rich, young ruler received Strength (the exposing of the ruler’s love for money), as well as Mercy (JESUS didn’t expose any of the ruler’s other sins), while saturated in Grace (a thorough walk-through of The Law).

Have you ever thought of that? I hadn’t! Not until PAPA showed me just a few minutes ago!

THANK YOU, KING YESHUA!!!!!!!
:-)

May CHRIST’S Shalom saturate you, Dear Reader, if you belong to Him and are abiding in Him!

May The Law convict you, Dear Reader, if you don’t belong to Him or if you are in rebellion in any manner!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa

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Hey there, Readers!

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but I’ve REPENTED (yay!), so here is the latest–thanks for reading and for your prayers!

I’m re-reading Dan Allender’s book, Bold Love, and it’s reminding me of how much I’ve forgotten. Below is both a concept from Dan’s book and the Scripture related to it. (The following concept may seem totally UNbiblical, at first, but stay with me through the Scripture and post.)

Alright, here we go . . .

The concept is that GOD hates sin (y’all knew that one)–AND–He hates the sinner. (I know–that sounds totally contrary to what you’ve probably heard, but hang in there.)

– Proverbs 3:31-32 (AMP)

“Do not resentfully envy and be jealous of an unscrupulous, grasping man, and choose none of his ways. [Ps. 37:1; 73:3; Prov. 24:1.] For the perverse [man is] an abomination [extremely disgusting and detestable] to the Lord; but His confidential communion and secret counsel are with the [uncompromisingly] righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with Him). [Ps. 25:14.] (Proverbs 3:31, 32 AMP).”

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Does this really mean that PAPA hates sinners? That people who practice perversity can be an abomination to Him? Well, according to Scripture, GOD hates people who sin (that’s all of us).

BUT THERE’S GREAT NEWS!!! GOD LOVES ALL PEOPLE!!! (We are created in His Image, ya know.)

PAPA Loves all people so much that He sent His Son, KING YESHUA, to literally bear His Wrath (that’s STRENGTH). And–PAPA hates people who are dominated by sin, so He sent His Beloved Son to DIE IN OUR PLACE (that’s MERCY).

In other words–PAPA’S Great Love is ALWAYS demonstrated by BOTH His Strength and Mercy. That’s His BOLD Love!
:-)

This is what I’m wanting to communicate–as Allender notes, it’s not “sin” that goes to Hell, it is unrepentant PEOPLE.

UNrepentant people go to Hell.

Literally.

People who reject JESUS’ Lordship in their lives go to Hell. People who reject Who KING YESHUA says He Is, go to Hell.

And if a person rejects who He says they are to be, then, according to Proverbs 3:32, that person will NOT be in Communion with GOD nor be in His Counsel. That sure gets my attention!

He says He is to be my LORD, KING, MASTER, SAVIOUR, FATHER, and BEST FRIEND–just to name a few. He says I’m to be HIS Beloved Daughter. He says I am to accept His Cleansing Correction, His Divine Disciplining, and His Absolute Adoration of me–all because He’s my DAD. I’m NOT to be a perverse person. I’m NOT to be one who rejects Him and His Ways.

I’ve been asking PAPA to infuse those realizations DEEP into my innermost being. Really DEEP!

Are you willing to risk letting those realizations sink deep into your being as you read and re-read that PAPA hates perverse people, yet He will share His Counsel with upright people?

I want KING JESUS to Share His Counsel with me! Yes, I do!!!
:-)

So, although I’ve repented from my OLD way of living and have been RE-BORN (thank You, PAPA!), I MUST (still) FIRST remove the PLANK (daily) from my own eye BEFORE I go near another person to help them with the SPECK in their eye! (I know y’all were wondering what any of this had to do with plank-pulling! It’s about dealing with MY sin, FIRST, before helping anyone else see their sin.)

PAPA wants me to live as HE says–not as my OLD way (my sin nature) demands–as it even wars to have dominion over me.

PRAYER:

KING JESUS, I desperately need You!!! I need to totally depend on You–no matter what it costs me–because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!!! And so am I!!! And so are all the people You bring me in contact with!!! Thank You for Your Loving Strength that makes it possible for me to see my planks (my sins) as You See them. And thank You for Your Loving Mercy as You PATIENTLY help me remove the planks so that I am NOT dominated by them!
:-)

So, Dear Readers, I pray you will join me in a life of “plank-pulling” in order to live an upright life where PAPA Graces you with His Intimate Communion and Counsel—and—so you can help others with their specks!

Much Love in HIS Great Love!

Plank-Pulling Warrior Princess Melanee!
\/ :-)

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