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Howdy, Readers!

The writing below is from the early morning of FRI 13 FEB 2015. PAPA’S Blessings on each and every one of you and your families!!!

In HIS Great Love!
Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa
\o/ :-)
____________________

I can’t **NOT** share what PAPA Revealed to me earlier this morning (FRI 13 FEB 2015)!!!
:-)

I’m currently 53 years young and all my life I’ve been raised from a “traditional USA Christian” perspective (if there is such a thing!). Part of that perspective was the implied belief that The Ten Commandments and The Torah (first five books in The Bible) were — both collectively and individually — all about rules, rules, and more rules. They were informative and important — but…not as important as The Gospels, Paul’s writings, and The Red Letters Spoken by KING YESHUA.

In other words, the two tablets that PAPA wrote on were “all about Laws and Rules,” and whatever Moses had to say was not really relevant any more (to Christians) because The Torah was all about “Law and Performance” and we Christians were all about “Love and Grace.”

I’ve also been taught that JESUS — I call Him KING YESHUA — was “all about Love and Relationships” and wasn’t really focused on behavior. At least, not in the same way as The Torah, even though He Kept The Torah.

Additionally, I’ve been taught that He had, in essence, done-away-with-The-Law when He said that He Fulfilled The Law. (In other words, The Torah was null and void after He was on the earth.)

It was as if the two (PAPA/Old Testament and KING YESHUA/New Testament) were totally different — as if They were not even The Same GOD. I’ve even heard Christians — people I dearly love — say those very words. PAPA was Law (supposedly focused only on “outward performance”), and KING YESHUA was Love (which was supposedly focused only on “inward faith”). Although Love could be demonstrated by action, the majority of Christians I hear talking these days clearly state that actions are NOT to be required, because that would be considered “working for your Salvation.”

It’s as if all the books from The 1st Story (commonly called The Old Testament), along with The Book of James, were totally kicked into the sewage!

Anyway, there I was doing chores around the house FRI morning while listening to Hanoch Young’s teaching from March 2014 and Bob Hamp’s teaching from February 2015, and it hit me!

The Ten Commandments **ARE** all about Love and Relationships!!!!!!!
:-)

Love is action. Love is demonstrated. Love is not a “feeling.” I’ve heard that hundreds of times! You probably have, too! (Action, by the way, is a synonym for performance!)

How did this “ah-hah” moment occur? I’m so glad you asked!!

Well, during Hanoch’s teaching, he repeatedly said that Torah is action-driven and that got me to thinking-and-pondering!

Then Bob repeatedly talked about how The Scriptures say that others will know me to be a Christian (a disciple of KING YESHUA) by my love for others; in other words, my “actions” in relationships.

Which then reminded me of KING YESHUA Saying that if I love Him, then I will obey (perform) His Commandments. (Please note that He’s talking about MY love for Him — **not** His Love for me! That is a really important distinction to remember!)

So there I was thinking-and-pondering and pondering-and-thinking when it hit me! The Torah is ALL about Love and Relationships — and ultimately, Torah is about LIFE! The Torah is all about “What Is Love” and “How To Demonstrate Love” in all my Relationships! The Torah clearly describes how to Live LIFE!!!

The Torah (of which The Ten Commandments provides an “outline” for living and loving in relationships), is **not** about rules — at least, not rules that are sour and bitter tasting! The Torah is all about what KING YESHUA Says we find in Him — Life and Life More Abundantly!!!

The Torah is all about Love and Relationships the same way that PAPA IS!!! The Torah is all about LIFE the same way KING YESHUA IS!!! And in case you didn’t know, “LIFE” in Hebrew is pronounced “CHAI” (with a throaty-spit-sounding CH and a long i as in “Hi”)! And its Hebrew spelling is a Chet and a Yod (written right to left).

חי

So…what does all this mean to me? It means that The 1st and 2nd Stories ARE ONE, after all!!! They are **NOT** to be separated!! Isn’t this stuff AWEsome?!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!
:-)
Thank YOU for reading, Dear Readers!
:-)

And thank You, PAPA, for opening my eyes to an even deeper awareness of Your Great Love for me and for others! HalleluYAH!!!
:-)

Dear Precious Readers!

LORD Willing, I will be writing short posts that will eventually become a book of what PAPA has done in my life. I hope they paint a vivid picture of just how radical KING YESHUA’S Love is for YOU!!!

In HIS Great Love!

Melanee Lisa
One of KING YESHUA’S Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princesses!
OORAH!!!
\o/
______________________________

“GOD!!! I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be!!!”

Those are the words I desperately cried (more like hollered) out to PAPA inside the mobile home where I lived with my lesbian life-partner. She and I had been together since spring of 1990. It was now fall of 1995.

I continued the hollered prayer with, “NOT the kind of woman **I** think You Want me to be – or the kind of woman other Christians or my family or strangers think I’m to be! I ONLY want to be the kind of woman YOU WANT ME TO BE!!!”

With that, I slumped to the floor, writhing in wretched sobs…gasping for air as the gut-punching-pain slammed me again and again for what seemed to be forever…

I had finally surrendered…or at least **began** surrendering to The One Who had been Waiting so Patiently for me to become “sick-and-tired of being sick-and-tired.” (He’s VERY Patient, by the way!)

So there I was on the linoleum floor, painfully sobbing with snot-and-tear-puddles everywhere, while KING YESHUA Held me in HIS Powerfully Tender Strong Arms. It was an excellent place to start “REAL Recovery” – HalleluYAH!!!
:-)

Hey there, Readers!

Below is my 2-minute testimony that I shared at Celebrate Recovery for our 11th Anniversary Party on FRI 9 JAN 2015! May PAPA use the following words to enCOURAGE you to NEVER give up!!!

In HIS Great Love!
Beautiful Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
+
\o/
_______________

Hey there, CR Family!

I’m one of KING JESUS’ Warrior Princesses and my name is Melanee!

And that’s Melanee with 2 EEs on the end!
😃

I’m gonna share my 2-minute testimony in 3 “segments”:

1. Before Recovery,
2. After Recovery, and
3. After CR!

1. BEFORE RECOVERY

I survived over 13 years of sexual abuse by dissociating; I hated being a girl and viewed myself as a boy.

I lived in constant fear of men, was addicted to porn, and because of my homosexual feelings, I eventually told GOD that I was a lesbian. I lived with a lesbian identity for over 16 years.

I often lied and manipulated whenever I was afraid — which was often.

2. AFTER RECOVERY

I started REAL Recovery with a Christian therapist on 1 SEP 1995. I worked on the core wounds from the sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect and JESUS Performed many miracles! I began to no longer view myself as a boy and was beginning to LOVE being a girl!!
😊

As PAPA Cleansed and Healed my heart from the sexual abuse, my fear of men began to diminish and my use of porn and masturbation decreased. KING YESHUA transformed my view of myself from being a tough dyke to being HIS Beautiful Strong Tender Warrior Princess!!! OORAH!!
😊

HOLY SPIRIT was Teaching me why I was fearful and HE Showed me I could choose to stop attempting to control people-places-things by listening to HIM instead of my fears.
😊

3. AFTER CR

By the time I arrived at the very first meeting of Celebrate Recovery in 2003, I was no longer having any sexual abuse flashbacks and, through PAPA’S Great Love, I had forgiven the 4 perpetrators — HalleluYAH!!!
😊

KING YESHUA used (and still uses) numerous male leaders from CR to continue to diminish my fear of men and HE has repeatedly used the women of CR to let me know that I am TRULY “one-of-the-girls”!
😊

In 2012, HOLY SPIRIT revealed how I was sometimes still lying and it had to do with talking out of fear. Ever since I started sharing about it at CR, my fear-based talking has significantly decreased!!!

And currently…I get to work on STOPPING being lazy!!!
😊

In closing, I enCOURAGE all the newcomers and the oldtimers to NEVER EVER give up!!!

Thanks for letting me share!!!
😊

I grew up in a family where I was sexually, physically, emotionally abused and neglected for over 13 years. I not only hated the 3 men and 1 woman who sexually used me, but I also hated myself – especially my body, because it betrayed me by responding to the sexual stimulations.

There were many unhealthy ways I attempted to deal with the trauma and pain from the sexual abuse, but they were the only coping mechanisms I knew. At a very young age, I was introduced to pornographic magazines, and later found an X-rated novel in the house – what I refer to as “written” pornography. I don’t remember when I first masturbated, but by the time I was 13 years old, I was hooked on masturbation – and devastated by the shame I felt afterwards.

Because of the abuse and neglect, it’s understandable that I wanted to be rescued out of my situation. The way I experienced wanting to be rescued was through emotionally intense romantic feelings for girls. When puberty hit, I also had strong sexual feelings for girls and women. By age 17, I “decided” that I was a lesbian. I simultaneously decided that The Bible was a bunch of lies and that GOD didn’t exist.

That, by the way, is the coping mechanism called DENIAL.

The mechanism I used from the earliest sexual abuse was dissociation. It was one of the reasons I survived hundreds of sexual violations. Dissociation is a big word for what The Bible describes as “brokenhearted” in Isaiah 61:1 and KING YESHUA quotes about HIMSELF:

“The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed.”
– Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

A clear visual of brokenhearted is a shattered heart, much like glass shattering to pieces when it hits the ground. Even though I didn’t know how deeply broken and wounded I was, PAPA knew; so HE allowed me to experience the natural consequences of living in rebellion to HIM, until I finally got sick-and-tired of being sick-and-tired.

The prayer I prayed was this: “GOD, I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be. I don’t know if that means I’ll be homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, or asexual, but I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be.”

HOLY SPIRIT took that prayer and RAN WITH IT!

On 1 SEP 2014, it will be 19 years since fully surrendering to PAPA’S Authority over every area of my life – emotionally, mentally, relationally, and sexually. Physical health and financial recovery began years later and though I’m still physically ill with Lyme, Babesia, and Bartonella, KING YESHUA is still on HIS Throne and I’m still HIS Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Daughter! That’s all that matters! OORAH! :-)

On 23 DEC 2014, it will be 29 years since I surrendered my heart and life to JESUS! I was born-again that MON morning around 1000 and I’ve NEVER received a greater or more priceless gift! HalleluYAH!!! :-)

KING YESHUA has used HIMSELF, HIS Written Word, HIS People (two therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person), and HIS Creation to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.

Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. HE Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades. I now FEEL emotions like KING YESHUA Created me to feel and because of HIS Faithfulness, I know how to manage my emotions, too!

Since PAPA has Taught me what to do when I’m anxious, I no longer use pornography, masturbation, or sexual fantasies. Before recovery, I only had WALLS and no boundaries. I was walled-off from PAPA, myself, and others. Not any more! KING JESUS and I together tore down the isolating walls (HalleluYAH!!!), and HE Taught me what healthy boundaries are and how to enforce them in loving, respectful ways. (Actually, I’m still learning!!) I’m also learning how to **not** talk out of fear or be silent out of fear.

The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because HE Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to HIS Authority in every area of my life. HE still asks me the same question HE asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

+
\o/

• I survived over 13 years of sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect growing up.
• I dissociated in order to survive the abuse and was consumed with hatred and anger towards GOD and men, as well as self-hatred for over 30 years.
• I experienced homosexual feelings for over 30 years and lived as a lesbian for over 15 years (7 of those years as a Christian).
• I used pornography, masturbation, and sexual fantasies as coping mechanisms for many years.
• That all began to change when I fully surrendered my authority to GOD’S Authority on 1 SEP 1995.
• KING YESHUA has used HIMSELF, HIS Written Word, two therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, and HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person, to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.
• Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. HE Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades.
• The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because HE Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to HIS Authority in every area of my life. HE still asks me the same question HE asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

+
\o/

Hello there, Readers!

Below are two versions of what Revelation 12:11 calls “the word of my testimony.” The first is a bulleted list and the second is a 5-minute testimony (approximately), if read out loud. I ask PAPA to do whatever it takes to soften your heart (and my heart!) towards HIM, HIS Word, and HIS Will in every area of your life (and my life!) — no matter what it costs!

PAPA’S Blessings on you all!!!

In HIS Great Love!

Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
+
\o/
—————————

BULLETED VERSION:

• I survived over 13 years of sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect growing up.
• I dissociated in order to survive the abuse and was consumed with hatred and anger towards GOD and men, as well as self-hatred for over 30 years.
• I experienced homosexual feelings for over 30 years and lived as a lesbian for over 15 years (7 of those years as a Christian).
• I used pornography, masturbation, and sexual fantasies as coping mechanisms for many years.
• That all began to change when I fully surrendered my authority to GOD’S Authority on 1 SEP 1995.
• KING YESHUA has used HIMSELF, HIS Written Word, two therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, and HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person, to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.
• Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. HE Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades.
• The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because HE Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to HIS Authority in every area of my life. HE still asks me the same thing HE asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

 

PARAGRAPH VERSION:

I grew up in a family where I was sexually, physically, emotionally abused and neglected for over 13 years. I not only hated the 3 men and 1 woman who sexually used me, but I also hated myself – especially my body, because it betrayed me by responding to the sexual stimulations.

There were many unhealthy ways I attempted to deal with the trauma and pain from the sexual abuse, but they were the only coping mechanisms I knew. At a very young age, I was introduced to pornographic magazines, and later found an X-rated novel in the house – what I refer to as “written” pornography. I don’t remember when I first masturbated, but by the time I was 13 years old, I was hooked on masturbation – and devastated by the shame I felt afterwards.

Because of the abuse and neglect, it’s understandable that I wanted to be rescued out of my situation. The way I experienced wanting to be rescued was through emotionally intense romantic feelings for girls. When puberty hit, I also had strong sexual feelings for girls and women. By age 17, I “decided” that I was a lesbian. I simultaneously decided that The Bible was a bunch of lies and that GOD didn’t exist.

That, by the way, is the coping mechanism called DENIAL.

The mechanism I used from the earliest sexual abuse was dissociation. It was one of the reasons I survived hundreds of sexual violations. Dissociation is a big word for what The Bible describes as “brokenhearted” in Isaiah 61:1 and KING YESHUA quotes in Luke:

“The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed.”
– Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

A clearer visual of brokenhearted is a shattered heart, much like glass shattering to pieces when it hits the ground. Even though I didn’t know how deeply broken and wounded I was, PAPA knew; so HE allowed me to experience the natural consequences of living in rebellion to HIM, until I finally got sick-and-tired of being sick-and-tired.

The prayer I prayed was this: “GOD, I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be. I don’t know if that means I’ll be homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, or asexual, but I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be.”

HOLY SPIRIT took that prayer and RAN WITH IT!

On 1 SEP 2014, it will be 19 years since fully surrendering to PAPA’S Authority over every area of my life – emotionally, mentally, relationally, and sexually. Physical health and financial recovery began years later and though I’m still physically ill with Lyme, Babesia, and Bartonella, KING YESHUA is still on HIS Throne and I’m still HIS Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Daughter! That’s all that matters! OORAH! :-)

On 23 DEC 2014, it will be 29 years since I surrendered my heart and life to JESUS! I was born-again that MON morning around 1000 and I’ve NEVER received a greater or more priceless gift! HalleluYAH!!! :-)

KING YESHUA has used HIMSELF, HIS Written Word, HIS People (two therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person), and HIS Creation to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.

Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. HE Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades. I now FEEL emotions like KING YESHUA Created me to feel and because of HIS Faithfulness, I know how to manage my emotions, too!

Since PAPA has Taught me what to do when I’m anxious, I no longer use pornography, masturbation, or sexual fantasies. Before recovery, I only had WALLS and no boundaries. I was walled-off from PAPA, myself, and others. Not any more! KING JESUS and I together tore down the isolating walls (HalleluYAH!!!), and HE Taught me what healthy boundaries are and how to enforce them in loving, respectful ways. (Actually, I’m still learning!!) I’m also learning how to **not** talk out of fear or be silent out of fear.

The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because HE Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to HIS Authority in every area of my life. HE still asks me the same thing HE asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

+
\o/

Howdy, Dear Reader!

I hope you are seeking KING YESHUA wholeheartedly TODAY, because HE says that today is all you have and if you seek HIM with your whole heart, then you WILL find HIM!! Woohoo!!! What a PHENOMENAL Promise!!!

Now…onto this short blog……

Who Wrote The Bible? (And other questions.)

1. Who wrote The Bible: humans or GOD?
2. Is GOD truly good?
3. Why doesn’t GOD take my pain away?

My core beliefs to those questions will effect every area of my life. Notice I didn’t say my “immediate answers” to those questions, but rather my “core beliefs.” The same goes for you.

How can you know what your core beliefs are? How can you know if your core beliefs are in alignment with PAPA’S Word? That’s easy to answer — just ask KING YESHUA to show you what your core beliefs are about HIM and HIS Word — He’ll show you!
:-)

Here’s the next part: What you do with what HE shows you will determine how you’ll handle the pain in your life.

I’m praying you’ll choose HOLY SPIRIT’S Way, rather than rejecting The One Who Created YOU!

That’s all for today!

PAPA’S Blessings on you and all of yours, Dear Reader!!!
:-)

In HIS Great Love!
Warrior Princess Melanee!
\o/ :-)

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